Saturday, June 23, 2007

Smelly Cat

I'm sorry to cat blog all over you, but I am slowly turning into a crazy cat lady.

Nearly 2 months ago, I told you that Lena the cat had 4 kittens. What I didn't tell you occured one very warm Thursday a week later. I had a headache, I was pm-essy, and another kitten never-before-seen by this writer was laid out stiff on my kitchen floor next to the trash. So I said a prayer to Bast, scooped it up in a plastic grocery bag and tossed it in one of the cans in the alley.

Then, I went to my bedroom, where Lena had the rest stashed way back in the furthest corner under the bed where I couldn't reach. I listened very closely. I heard my headache and the upstairs neighbor clumping around and the vatos in the street outside flirting with some passing girls. I did not, however, hear the teeny mewling that had been emanating from that scary underbelly of my bedroom. So in a very distressed tone I asked Lena, "Where are your kittens???!!!??"

She dragged out the tuxedo kitten that looks just like my boy cat and made a big show of nursing it in the middle of the floor and I was getting a bit freaked out -- "Lena, where are THE REST of your kittens???!!!???" So she carried the tuxedo kitten back under the bed and popped back out with a disturbingly limp kitten in her jaws and then brought that one back under the bed.

So now had a pretty good idea. Did I mention I had a headache and was pm-essy? I commenced freaking out. I called my mother and my girlfriend Christine about 3 times each and finally the kid took mercy on my soul and held up the bed so I could get under there and see.


It was kitten carnage. There were 3 more kitten corpses strewn about Lena and the tuxedo kitty, snuggled up and nursing. So I said a few more prayers to Bast, scooped them all up in plastic grocery bags and made Donovan carry them down to the alley. Then I washed my hands, got weepy watching the season finale of "The Office", ate popcorn and cursed myself for being such a wuss.

BUT -- today Lena decided it was a grand time to wean the surviving kitten and start getting busy while I was helping the new roomie move his stuff in -- Lena has a tremendous sense of timing. So I just spent the last hour trying to keep her and Kiddo the tom cat seperated with a spray bottle until the kid was able to snatch him up and maneuver him out the door with only one minor scratch.

Now they are both howling at each other through the door. He is SO getting his nuts cut off -- even if I do find the whole gelding thing to be cruel and unusual. I can not go through the whole kitten drama again.


Jane said...


Bostick said...

Gross! We had strays at the last place i lived and they would make howling cat love out by the lake all the time. The kittens I saw were all deformed and had fucked up eyes so I assumed that the frolic was that of an incestuous type.

La Sirena said...

Jane-- Hahahahaha! Takes one crazy lady to know one. (Tho you don't have cats.)

Bostick -- I live in the inner city and despite all the scary kitty drama, I like them WAY better than rats. Some of them do end up pretty inbred, however the house kittens currently do not seem to be too badly inbred.

jeremy said...

your cat Lena sounds pretty obedient.

Pelmo said...

All that is missing is a shopping cart, heavy wool coat, combat boots, and a babushka and you could be the "CAT LADY" of the neighborhood.

La Sirena said...

Pelmo -- Here is a picture of me.

Jeremy -- Good point. I guess she is pretty obedient for a cat.