Does That Include You?

In case you hadn't noticed here, here, or here -- I think Ann Coulter is an irrational, self-loathing idiot.

Her latest echolalial tangent involves the role of single women (a demographic which inexplicably includes soccer moms in the hallucinatory sovereign world of Coulter) and the continued existence of the Democratic Party. Well, duh! Who but a rich white man (or a brainwashed christianazi) is going to vote Republican? The law of mathematics would then mean that once you subtract the rich, white men from the population of voters, those voting for Democrats would include a majority of females. This isn't some kind of genius insight Ann.

But what exactly do you mean by the following statement?

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat (sic) president"

-- Ann Coulter

When you received your lobotomy did they also remove your genitals as well as your ability to correctly use the English language? Or is it just the brain damage caused by years of starvation which causes you to forget your gender? Are you willing to give up your own right to vote for the greater good of the Big Oil Party? Are you actually an android being controlled by the Greys via remote so that they can continue uninterrupted in their plans to gentically re-engineer the human race by convincing the christianazis that their space fleet is actually a cadre of angels come to bring the rapture?

Seek therapy immediately, Ann. Also, stop smoking crack before appearing on television. It's bad form.

Why does anyone still let Ann speak in public? Come on, Rupert! Even you must know better by now.

Confession

I’ve been feeling the need to make some massive changes in my life. After much contemplation, here is the plan:

I’m turning in my feminist credentials. I don’t know why I’ve wasted so much time trying to insure equal pay for myself, when clearly the world is designed on a merit system and the white – skinned male is its most oppressed minority.

Since it was Ann Coulter who showed me the error of my ways, it’s time I confessed that I have a massive crush on her. I want to run my fingers over her painfully well-defined skeleton. I’m buying a snub-nose .44 so I can impress her with my straight shooting, take-charge attitude and general blood lust.

I want to whisper “Liberal” in her ear until she prays to me in public schools. I want to give her 27 cents of every dollar I earn. I want to buy us matching Mickey Mouse sweatshirts and skip through Disney World, holding hands but never marrying – because that would undermine the entire institution of marriage, help the terrorists win and cause all bibles to simultaneously, spontaneously combust. (And the bible is the best book ever written – and really, the only book worth reading.)

No, sadly I can never marry Ann Coulter – but once I quit working with schizophrenics and start working for the prison lobby (we need to lock up those unemployed scumbags), I will then be able to buy Ann her dream home in Celebration, Florida – Disney’s planned community.

Once we’ve set up house in Celebration, Ann will start spelling her name correctly – with an “e” at the end. She will put her hair in hot rollers and style it big so it fluffs out under her cartwheel hat. (She’s tall. She can pull off a cartwheel hat.) She’ll layer frothy crinolines under her wide, feminine skirts because she knows I enjoy the way they set off the severe lines of her chicken legs. She’ll throw away her suits and stop writing, because once I’ve rescued her from the horrible fate of an unloved woman she won’t be forced to work in the media anymore like some common slut. She’ll stay home, keeping my house, cooking me nutritious meals of pork and buying me the very best scotch with my fat prison profits.

After all, someone has to be the man.


(Enjoy the day.)

Ann Coulter Still Needs an Enema

Evidently her diet consisting of 3 ounces of raisins and one rice cake a day is blocking her colon. Please, Ann, for the love of all that is holy -- eat something. You probably would wake up each day in a better mood.

And then you wouldn't have to go on tv, make up lies and call people names.

Which brings up a question. Why is it OK for you to call Senator John Edwards a "faggot", but when people heckle you at a speaking engagement, they get arrested?

I think you are a chicken, Ann. Why don't you try eating one instead of acting like one?

Right now, I'm a P.O.W.*

Never married mothers earn 56.5% of what men earn -- compared to previously married mothers (66%) and married mothers (76.4%). All of these figures are from 1994 and can be found in a very intersting article by Jane Waldfogel.

Furthermore:

According to the U.S. Census, women’s overall wages are dropping compared to men—women lost a cent between 2002 and 2003, and now make 76 cents for every dollar made by men.
http://www.momsrising.org/node/250


Ladies, please don't forget to send your thank you notes for that pleasant reality to George Bush and Ann Coulter.

But check out The Motherhood Manifesto. Problems and solutions from feminist activists Joan Blades and KristinRowe-Finkbeiner. If you see my son, let him know that I would like a copy for Mother's Day -- now that he's entered that big-earning demographic of white, male and country club.

* pissed-off woman