Monday, February 09, 2009

Crazy Never Takes A Vacation!*

Have you seen this woman who had octuplets -- only it turns out she already had 6 kids and she's a single mom living at home with her parents? Did she get invitro fertilization? Yes, indeed she did. She tells us all that she can only have kids with the help of in vitro and so she needs it. She told us all about this on any media outlet that will have her but she has to push the words through all of the collagen in her lips. Her lips are so jacked up she can't even close them. Lady, lay off the optional medical procedures, please!

She knows she is unemployed and living with her 14 children and her folks, but she says it's cool because god will help her take care of her kids.

I got knocked up the old-fashioned way when I was 20 and I have a beautiful son so I have something to share with Nadya Suhlman, the young collagen-lipped woman who lives in a shoe.

Bitch, you're crazy!

Number one, Jesus does not pay child support. God the father is a deadbeat dad. Probably so are all of the other gods but I won't name them here. This isn't Maury Povich. Oh, and all of those church people who worry about all of the zygotes and blastocysts won't help you raise your kids either. They won't send you a few bucks because you put your kids' school pictures in a Christmas card. They are only interested in ultrasounds.

Also, it is a proven fact that never-married mothers make less than 60% of what men earn. (Divorced moms do slighty better. They average about 65% of men's earning and married mothers actually crack the seventieth percentile.) I can tell you from personal experience that this a reality and not a story made up by feminists to give Ann Coulter something to bitch about. I make about 2/3s of many women who do the same job as me in the same institution. I am powerless to fight this however, because I will be told that I am in a different department and things don't work the same there. Besides, this is not the time to be pointing to Lily Ledbetter and asking for a pay raise.

So good luck, Nadya! I really do hope you find a medication that works for you and maybe some dynamic interventional therapy and a very rich man to marry you and all fourteen of your children. Or maybe the idiot doctor who performed the fertilization procedure contrary to guidelines will be forced to feed, clothe and college your little rugrats.

I gotta go watch the president try to get 750 billion dollars for infrastructure so the El quits falling on people's heads and maybe help reduce the 8% unemployment rate in our fair city. The republicans don't like it, though. They'd rather give that money to CEOs and let the rest of us die in floods or train crashes when the levies break and the train tracks wear out. Oh yeah, and creationism and abstinence-only education.

No wonder the poverty level is up...

But according to Tom, it's probably too little, too late.

*Thanks to the fabulous Sue for the title of this post.


DAVE BONES said...

That isn't a birth is it? That is a litter.

La Sirena said...

It's even big for a litter!


Pelmo said...

This sounds like one of my blogs. But mine aren't so elequent.

changapeluda said...

aw man! she's giving single moms a totally badname!
The media ( & everyone & their mother) is ripping her a new one but she's bending over & spreading her big fat swollen up w/LIES
Gah...if she only had a brain!!
technology and the fact check
and the side by side facial comparisons were bound to happen

i think she might be pimping herself out - for diapers (!)
that's so sad. her nails look really good, though.

also: i feel for her babies because they won't get free stuff as she is her own smear campaign

La Sirena said...

Awww... you're sweet! I did think that I sounded like I had been inspired by the soul of Pelmo on this one.

La Sirena said...

Changa --She IS giving us a bad name because she is the weird Hollywood version of the right-wing stereotype about single moms: that we all have 12+ kids and live off the taxpayers. But I really think this woman is pathological -- all of the surgeries and paying for in vitro cause God designated her to be a baby factory or something.

I do feel bad for all of these babies and her poor mother, too. And I do think the doctor should be forced to pay out for these kids because I don't think Nadya's equipped to mother such a brood and she's digging an early grave for her mom. I'm afraid these 14 kids (many with special needs) are going to end up with nobody.