Friday, October 03, 2008

Dear Congress,

Thank you for passing the Bailout Bill with 58 more yeas than Monday. It's been a productive week for you and it always comforts me so much to see Congress lay down like Bush's bitches again and again. Tell me, did it hurt when you had your spines surgically removed in order to keep your Congressional seats? Do you expect to still have jobs on November 4th?
Yes, my friends, Congress passed the Bailout Bill, which means we, the people are up shit creek without a paddle. We will be footing this bill. We will have to keep working until we are very, very old....

...but the good news is that all of the filthy, rich people on Wall Street won't be losing any money. In fact, Congress voted today to fix all of their problems by giving them more money than we've spent on the war and occupation of Iraq since March 2003. Yes, my friends, the Bush family's oil addiction and grudge against Saddam Hussein is officially cheaper than the unregulated, greedy hubris of Wall Street and the Banking industry.

But, let's show some compassion... those CEOs have problems, too. For example, some lost their jobs. Alan Fisher was released from WaMu (woo-hoo!) just 18 days after collecting an $18.5 million sign-on bonus. Alan Fuld is probably unhirable after driving Lehman Brothers into the sub-basement, and all he got after 30 years of service was $500 million dollars.

That's why Henry Paulson (Bush's appointed Treasury Secretary) had to make sure his former employer (Goldman Sachs) was one of the biggest beneficiaries of this Bailout Bill. That's why Congress had to pass this bill -- because we all know that if Bush doesn't get his way, elections get stolen, the terrorists win, things blow up and people die. Seriously.

So can you blame Congress for giving all of our money to fix Wall Street when the market no longer fixed itself? Well, yes... you can and I do. But the truth is that the Executive Office Cabal has everyone so bullied, terrified and tortured that we can't even pass a motion to impeach them. So in this country you might get impeached for having oral sex, but not for treason.

Everybody, be cool! This is a robbery! It's another heist engineered by the wickedest men this planet has ever seen. Are we surpirsed that Congress has once again chickened out and handed our wallets over to the man with the gun pointed to our collective temple? We shouldn't be. "Your money or your life!" Given that choice, please, take my money. As Jesus said, Give to Ceaser what is Ceaser's... hmmmm... I wonder WWJD today....

This post is dedicated to my brilliant sister Meander. She knows why.


JoeC said...

WWJD today? I'm guessing since Jesus would have already given away all his possessions, it would be easier for him to pick up stakes and move to Norway ;-)

La Sirena said...

Aaahhh! Norway... nice dream.

Pelmo said...

Meander is not as direct as depictated in all the photos. A bit more subtle, wouldn't you agree?

My god woman, didn't you listen and pay attention as they kept repeating over and over again how they were doing this for Main Street Americans like you and me.

Would have been a bit easier to swallow their garbage, if it didn't have all that pork attached to it.