In Like a Lion or Kitty Porn

From the diary of a mad cat lady: Just now, as I was visiting the blogroll, there was a a godawful clattering on the back porch, followed by a horrific chorus of caterwauls.

A couple of days ago Lena, my cat's girlfriend (who upon closer inspection turned out not to be pregnant) popped out the back door with Kiddo while I was taking out the trash. Usually she waits by the door and comes right back inside. She'd been gone for 48 hours, so I figured Kiddo had kicked her to the curb.

But a few minutes ago when I opened the back door, there was Lena and Kiddo and about 4 other (presumably) male cats. They were all attempting to mount her, because evidently Lena had gone into heat. She must have been quite tired and famished from 2 days of copulating, however, and bolted through the crack in the door, running straight for the food dish. Kiddo and four strange cats attempted to follow, but I managed to slam the door closed after my cat crossed the threshold.

Kiddo then attempted to mount Lena while she was eating, biting into her shoulder blade. (Why do cats always bite into the shoulder blade before penetrating?) Lena managed to slip away and I threw Kiddo out the back door with a can of food and a bowl of water. This is probably akin to closing the barn door after the cows escape, but I really don't want her getting pregnant. I also didn't want to listen to the cats getting it on all night. They're very loud when they're doing it. But I feel guilty about Kiddo. He's banished outside, whining and and rattling the door knob.

Now I know that Bob Barker and some of my gentle readers are probably judging me right now for not having Kiddo fixed. But here's the thing: I find cuttting off someone's nutsack -- even under anastheisia -- to be a reprehensible and unconsionable act of violence.

(Please note that I consider myself a hardline feminist, therefore, the fact that I can't stomach having even my pets neutered completely unravels the stereotypic myth of the castrating feminist.)

So there you have it... another wild Saturday night at La Casa de Sirena.