HOT AS HELL!!!

(I borrowed this image from whiskeysierragrafics for the selfish, aesthetic purpose of illustrating this blog)

I live in a ridiculously extreme climate. Example -- the heat index was 113 degrees farenheit yesterday and in December it will be minus 30 degrees farenheit and in each and every month the humidity hangs around 75% so that you're either cold and damp or hot and wet, but not in the pornstar sense...

I don't have AC and in the winter I try to keep the heat set between 60 and 65 to conserve energy and money and also because I don't want to be a weather wuss. I operate under the theory that if you allow your body to adapt to the season, you'll be healthier and generally more comfortable (kinda the old wives tale concept of thickening and thinning the blood.)

But every so often the shit just GETS to me. And yesterday it really got to me, I was puddling up and getting (literally and figuratively) steamed at every idiot in traffic and I had to keep counting to 10, breathe, repeat-- but the arrival of Aunt Flo reduced me to a shrill meltdown of hot messiness so finally I went to Streetside to drink High Life on sale and sit in the AC. Then all of the little Beer Baby Boys kept telling me how "fiesty" I was. (Who says that? Why do men like that word? It makes me think of extra spicy chicken wings.) I wanted to say, "I'm not fiesty, I'm a bloody, thirsty, hot mess" but I was afraid I would cry, so instead I said, "you really got screwed by your mechanic -- I can't believe you paid $280 for a fuel pump on a Ford!" (which was kind of a smug and unnecessary thing to point out to someone at that juncture) so then the little BBBs told me I was an emasculator -- but both of them had AC and were still whining about the heat -- so I'm pretty sure they had no balls to begin with. Anyway...I mostly just wanted to go home and be by myself, but I couldn't face the broiler that was my apartment.