Thursday, December 04, 2008

Tightly Clichéd

I haven't been reporting because I don't feel like being anything but me and lately I don't make for very good copy. Here are some infinitive forms which currently describe my life: to work, to mother, to granddaughter, to daughter, to sister, to aunt, to behave, to economize, to dodge bill collectors, to heal, to be healed, to sleep, to dream, to plan, to laugh, to master, to rest, to renew, to recalim, to befriend, to enjoy the occasional solitude, to not take things very seriously.

As I said, it doesn't make for interesting reading but it makes for good living.
The biggest news is that I'm trying very, very hard (and not so very perfectly) to kick that devil nicotine once and for all. Please, no comments about how the only way to quit smoking is cold turkey. It isn't and all cold turkey does is make me a homicidal maniac. Nobody wants to see that. Nations will declare jihad on the US because of the large, foul cloud of bad vibes and violence emanating from my aura. It would be very, very bad -- as in hell on earth, armageddon, etc.
The other biggest news is that I'm working on an application for a Master's in Science program offered at the university/hospital where I work.

And in other news...

My son now drives and we just spent the holiday at my mom's eating cold turkey and watching a brazillion bootleg movies.

Also, I wish Blog Ho would post because he's practically my last enjoyable vice in this life since I cut back on the booze and the loose men. Practically, not totally or definitely, so please, still no comments about cold turkey. I don't want to hear it.

Have you noticed that many "loose" men aren't "loose" at all, but rather uptight when you get down to it? So the term "loose" is not a very good one when applied to men of leisure and easy pleasure. Let's change it to "tight" since "tight" is the second syllable in "uptight" and "tight" can also slangily mean drunk and/or a really good mesh of skilled and talented musicians during an improv jam session or (mistakenly used in reference to) a recorded song which sounds very good only after about 10,000 takes.

I have some new girlfriends and some blast-from-the-past girlfriends popping out of the woodwork and I've been having lots of fun hanging out with the girls and doing cool things at cool places and not really caring if you think I'm cute while doing it.

Mostly, I hang out with cool chicks, but I do still know some "tight" guys, in case you were concerned about my ability to be heterosocial. In fact, it was a couple of "tight" guys who helped me relocate my super powers a couple of weeks ago at an improv show during which 2 troupes performed; one female troupe of improvisers called Children of a Lesser God and one male troop of improvisers called Uncle's Brother. The male troop contained some famousish people. The female troop was "tight".

Yeah, during the show the one "tight" guy friend started asking me for a bunch stuff because he is not a boy scout, but rather a journalist. Meanwhile the other tight guy friend was suffering from the adverse effects of a reiki sneak attack coupled with acupuncture, allergy season and a musty rug at the IO, which may cause runny nose, sneezing, watery eyes, ague and overall fatigue. Yet somehow all of the symptoms, wacky energy, extemporanea and general hilarity were strangely regenerative, kind of like an eclipse on Heroes or possibly more like the way the destruction of Alderaan and the death of Obi-Wan brought the gang closer together and led to the eventual triumph of rebel forces against the Empire.

So once again, I have the magical ability to pull any necessary item out of my purse at any given time, for which my superheroic alter ego, Single Mom, is rightfully renowned, and if you ever run into me while drowning in a river I promise to dig you out a straw or a self-help manual on survival or somesuch -- or maybe I'll just dig you out of the current so you don't die.

Not on my watch, pal.


DAVE BONES said...

Im with you on the stopping smoking thing. Its murder.

changapeluda said...

i like things that pop outta the woodwork!
heh heh heh

me you and pinda are movin' in a herd of the non-bloggety

pinda is my peanut friend from
sweet artist guy

anywayze i miss the blogamole but i be toooo lazy and have two thousand pictures of memory card to go thru!


La Sirena said...

Dave -- It's true.

Changa -- Hey! I quit OKCupid cuz I couldn't browse or email or read entries or quiz anymore without getting really obnoxious IM buzzes from socially awkward, yet strangely arrogant and gross guys trying for booty calls. Rudely. I mean, if you're trying to get in someone's pants, shouldn't you be nice about it? Does rudely demanding it ever get them any? God! They must all be virgins. But anyhow...

I'm glad to hear from you. I'll log into the Cupid and send you my email and then quit again. Later...


BBC said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog hon.

Chicago, been there, done that, but I've been everywhere, it's not my kind of place, I'm country, but they make some great pizza's over there.

You sure are into some weird movies hon. I prefer romantic comedy's myself.

As for my reading, really deep and serious stuff, like the study of Einstein. Stands to reason I guess, I have 30 years on you.

Ah, smoking, the one thing about me that I hate, I even voted for the smoking ban in public places. But I have a lot of shit to deal with and smoking is a sort of Prozac.

So is my drinking but I know how to keep that under control and limit it without doing stupid things.

Hell, if I couldn't go out and sing karaoke until midnight once in a while I may as well blow my brains out.

You was a little loose with the sex? Well, I'm not going to judge someone for taking care of a need that flows through them. As long as they aren't making babies like rabbits.

Hell, I'm sixty-five and still horny as hell. But have gotten very picky so have had no sexual relationship with a women for eight years. If she can't look into my eyes and share spirit with me, forget it.

Let's see, what else, oh, christmas and spirit. I've made it clear that I think that the consumer christmas bullshit should be separated from the celebration of Jesus's so called birthday.

Actually, that bothers me also. What is the big frigging deal about a man born over two thousand years ago?

If you have spirit in you just celibate your own birthday and let it go at that. Spirit of Jesus, spirit of you, whatever.

Jesus was getting some sex on his birthday, I don't know what the rest of these idiots are doing.

Tell your sister to get a grip hon, sorry about the long comment, I tend to go on at times.