Thursday, November 13, 2008

High Anxiety

Shackled and chained

My soul feels stained
I can't explain got an itch on my brain
Lately my whole aim is to maintain
And regain control of my mainframe
My bloods boiling its beatin' out propane
My train of thought's more like a runaway train
I'm in a fast car drivin' in a fast lane
In the rain and I might just hydroplane
-- Black Eyed Peas
So it turns out that I'm an anxious person. In an effort to acknowledge my anxiety and keep it from eating away at all of my nerves, I have discovered that I am anxious a whole lot. Living in this crazy, mixed-up world, working, raising a teenager and his mouth and his father's mouth.

I'm trying yoga, and deep cleansing breaths, kava tea and the occasional xanax. It all kind of works. None of it works really well. Whiskey used to work very well, very quickly -- but not so much these days. That sucks, but then again, I am trying to lead a healthier, more upright lifestyle or whatever.

In other words, I'm very boring and chewed up and irritated most of the time -- ergo, I have nothing much to blog about these days.

Oh, honey hush...


Anonymous said...

Not to minimize your experience; but rather to normalize it...we all (whatever side)have been so focused, so sure we have been fighting for the future...and now it is over. It is rational to be anxious. What do we do with our energy, our focus, our passion? Now what????

It is time for us to take a deep breath, gird our loins and prepare for the real battle. We need to be sure the promise becomes the reality; we need to watch that no further damage is done during the remainder of this 8 year siege. Then we need to roll up our sleeves and heal this nation.

Love, Citizen Nurse

Zoro said...

Hold that thought Jen; like all of us, you hurt - do not agree with me do not comment on anyone sharing your pain. Offering advice is a foolish denial of your need to find a personal solution. You might not be aware how close you are to your liberation in this post. I want to write to you because you are closer here than for quite a while. To me, you write a blog that has kudos, that changes mood constantly and you don't give up. La Sirena is to me someone I cannot grasp whose truth is beyond reach: is she a mermaid? Is she a siren? Does she lure men to their sexual nemesis? Is she cuddly or cute or flirtatious? The answer is: fuck knows - who the fuck is Alice, who the fuck are you?


JoeC said...

Feeling the same's hard to find things interesting these days after so much election drama, which I was actually tired of but still addicted to, and it kept me looking forward to the next day to see what happened next. I'll take being bored over being stressed to the hilt anyday, but it's still...boring. I'm missing some over-arching passion and purpose...or maybe this life was just supposed to be a vacation between really busy lives. Who knows. Hey, Malcolm Gladwell has a new book out yesterday...gotta go check that out.