Poof!!! Be gone!!!

Jim Piculas was a substitute teacher in Land'OLakes, Florida. One day he stood in front of a classroom in which he was subbing and performed a magic trick. He made a toothpick disappear and reappear.

One of the students went home and told his parents about the magic trick. The parents called the school to complain. It seems that they didn't like Piculas practicing "wizardry" in class. So the school administration called Piculas and told him to come in for a chat.

Piculas was let go from the Land O' Lakes School District. The official reason for his dissmissal was not following curriculum. Of course, this was probably just a good example of administrative CYA.

My question is: for how long must we continue pandering to the lowest common denominator? A man lost his job because of parents who thump their bibles but can't be bothered to read a dictionary. If they had opened up their dictionaries, they might have read the following definitions listed under "trick":

• A ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement.


• An illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers.

I think "naive" is too kind an adjective to describe the parents screaming "wizardry" in Central Florida. The word that comes to my mind starts with a "d" and ends with an umbass. But then again, I can't actually recall hearing the term "wizardry" in this context. Is it something from the Harry Potter series, or perhaps from the Malleus Maleficarum, the handbook of the Inquisition? So since I do believe in consulting a dictionary, I went back to Webster's. Here is the lone entry under wizardry:

• Exceptional creative ability.

Well, now I understand. Piculas wasn't fired for doing a magic trick -- he was fired for being creative. And no one wants to see teachers (especially substitute teachers) encouraging creativity.

That's just not part of the curriculum.