Tuesday, March 11, 2008

7 Years of Bad Luck

Since 2001:

  • Bush was sworn in as president after stealing an election.

  • I acquired the shittiest roommate that I've ever heard of.

  • 3000 people were murdered on American soil.

  • These murders were used to revolk the civil rights of American citizens.

  • I was arrested illegally.

  • They tried to throw me out of college because of the previous item. (We beat them with lotsa help.)

  • When I wouldn't agree to be the County On-Call Narc, I had the Patriot Act thrown at me, in godforsaken Hell County, Midwestern, USA.

  • I experienced a compound fracture in my left ankle after getting tangled in my own panties while peeing in the woods.

  • I was unemployed for 6 months.

  • My uncle was killed in a terrible accident.

  • My cousin was killed in a terrible accident 1.5 years later.

  • 300,000 people have died in the name of our nation.

  • I can't afford a tank of gas.

  • Another Presidential Election was stolen.

  • Dick Cheney shot someone in the face and no one cared except the comedians.

  • I had a roommate who would have been the shittiest roommate I ever heard of, if not for the previous roommate mentioned earlier in this list -- which is kind of how the Luck of the Irish works.

  • My car has been Denver booted twice in the last 6 months.

  • Now when I get pulled over, the cops always want to search my car. (This is very time-consuming.)

  • My son's Dad split town because evidently your kids are independent at age 15.

  • Now my son yells at me every day.

  • I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 1.5 weeks ago.

  • I have to have a spinal tap.

  • Bush is STILL the President.

  • The whole country is clinically depressed for that reason.

  • Oil is $107 per gallon.

  • More and more innocent people are dying for oil every day.

  • I'm tired and sad.

  • I should get rid of my car.

  • That would make my son yell at me even more.

  • I am too tired to ride my bike to work every day.

  • W still has the title of president.

  • Pelosi doesn't have the ovaries to impeach him.

  • I'm trapped in a WAHmbulance.

But I''ve had some good luck, too...

  • I have an excellent human being to call my son.

  • I gained an wonderful, magical fairy god daughter.

  • I gained a hilarious genius nephew.

  • I gained 2 stellar brothers-in-law.

  • I have a kick-ass family.

  • I have lots of friends.

  • I won a John Deere weedeater.

  • I'm gainfully employed and reasonably well-respected.

  • I have health insurance.

  • Except for M.S., I am totally healthy and I work at one of the best hospitals in the region for M.S.

  • I have a car.

  • I have groceries and a roof over my head.

  • Last year I won a prize in which I got to dye the Chicago River green on St. Pat's.

  • I usually have too much love from people who don't commit, (as opposed to people committed to not loving me.)

  • I crack myself up.


Anonymous said...

You are loved by many people. You are being tested, perhaps.

Whenever I am sad I like to remember when your Mom went back to work and you and I were home alone. We would sit and watch TV and play. You were'nt even a year old, but we could play catch and you would giggle and that little laugh would always make my day. Jen you know I love all of you girls equally, but your sisters don't have that special time that you and I had. I love you. Dad

Pelmo said...

Can't top the previous comment. Only thing I can say, when things get bad, you find out who really loves you.

La Sirena said...

Thanks Daddy! That was very nice, it made me feel better.

Pelmo, You are right.

changapeluda said...

That would be moi....
when i read this post, my heart got scared.

then i admired your bravery all day long.

i don't believe in Bad Luck.
i brake mirrors with 2x4's and make angel wings out of it.

i see you do the same.

JoeC said...

I've found this true for most humans: the good and the bad balance out, so most people that never experience very bad times usually don't have very great happy times, either. Personally, I'd rather experience a lot of good and bad than just lead a boring flat-line kind of life.

Jane said...

Many of the most depressed people I have worked with, descibe their emotional state as flat-lined. They would even prefer to feel sad, just to feel something.


La Sirena said...

Changa, Awwww... thanks. Good idean about the mirrors, kind of like a twist on if life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Joe and Jane, I agree, ups and downs are more interesting and I may be a lot of things, but emotionally flat-lined is not one of them. Also, I figure if you're going to complain, then you had better say some thank yous at the same time or else the boogey man will get you or whatever.