The Mammary Monologues

Or "Love, the Queen of the Breast"...(a topic of mythic proportions).

(that is a rough translation of Gwen Teir Bronn, the early Welsh goddess of fertility, about whom I can find absolutely no more info -- at least on the internet.)

Both of my sisters (Nora & Liza) have been boob-blogging, and I feel I must nip in with something about the funbags.

So I started with Venus of Willendorf, but there seems to be just a lot of articles by men riffing on their own cultural biases re: obesity in a fertility goddess (clearly, they've never been to Hawaii).

Anyway...re: my relationship with my own boobs...I like them a lot! Of course, compared to my sisters', they're rather small -- although in reference to the rest of the breast universe, I've quite the rack...I wish I had more -- like so.

There are all kinds of multi-breasted goddesses, but it's kinda hard to find the myths about them. (Incidentally, if anyone is looking to give me one of my dream jobs -- hunting down myths of all cultures would be just peachy, as far as I'm concerned.)

This particular goddess is Cybele/ Artemis and she and her rack o'boobs reside in modern day Turkey at the Ephesus Museum.

Linguistically and historically, Cybele may be known as "She of the hair" or "Mountain Mother" (not to be confused with Mountain Fiji, you former G.L.O.W. fans). Naturally, Cybele is a fertility goddess.

I mean, do you really believe that Paris Hilton would breastfeed? ("Like...wet-nurses are hot.")

Do you like living in a society where she's a sex goddess?

Now click here and fund a mammogram.