Thursday, November 01, 2007

If I Ruled the World...

1. If you hold a municipal public office, you have to send your kids to public school.

2. If you hold a federal public office, either you or one of your first degree relatives must fight in any war occurring while you hold your seat. (Thanks, Pelmo!)

3. Food, shelter, health care and basic education (reading, writing and ciphering) is provided to everybody, regardless of paper status, income level or addictions

4. No one individual person is allowed to amass more than a billion dollars in assets. (I'm a dirty pinko.)

5. Bars = smoking. Deal with it.

6. Women don't have to work when they're experiencing cyclical hormonal events. We get to stay home and consume vast amounts of chocolate, red wine and raw meat. The fact that we make 72 cents on the dollar is The Man's compensation for the extra time off.

7. Legalize it, don't criticize it.

8. 4 day work week for everyone regardless of gender or hormonal shifts

9. Every beaureaucratic / governmental/industrial / commercial organization or private concern generating new forms (electronic or paper) must pay for one year of college for someone living below the poverty level FOR EVERY SINGLE NEW FORM, bitches!

10. Cut down a healthy tree -- die or pay 5 billion dollars to the not-for-profit tree-planting corporation that I'm inventing as I type this ...

11. If you hold a public office you will be rated well for repealing laws, not creating them. (Thanks, Ma!)

12. Chickens are not to be emulated. Remember... Eagles have to soar together because chickens can't fly.

13. Terminate all lists and rules

12 comments:

Pelmo said...

La Sirena for President 2008.

Now why can't we have any of the supposed presidential candidates shoot from the hip like this.

With a starting platform such as this, the nation would demand an early election and have Bush run out of town immediatly.

Sorry Jane, I will try and convince her to have you run for Vice-President, then we will have 16 years of a nation firing on all cylinders.

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

You ARE a pinko! :)

Jane said...

I would much prefer La Sirena run instead of me....but, is she electable?????????????

fatrobot said...

this is what happens in canada

Pelmo said...

Jane, an avalanche starts with a snowball. If you and I got the ball rolling, I do believe it is a very attainable goal.

Twit said...

Eat chickens if you must but be nice to them while they're alive!

Your time will come.
Assholes!

Pavel Chekov said...

You've got my vote. Can I be your Secretary of Defense? We could build a robot army.

Twit said...

Sorry for my over-zealous-drunken-veggie-militancy.

I'm not really selling the idea, am I?

Anyway - fuck other life-forms, I've got terrorists on the BRAIN right now..

Brain
Rein/Rain

Boo-hoo,
blah blah,
ha ha!

BOOOM!

Too much to care about = Care about NOTHING ..

_does it?___

Maybe one day we'll be pissed-off enough..

Or irrelevant.
Or dead.

###

keep screaming ..

your illness IS SUPREMELY VALID.

Sleep well, people..

Have faith..

We are the Butterfly Effect.
¦:¬|

La Sirena said...

Hey Yall!

Thanks for the vote of confidence -- if we have a Presidential lottery and I win -- becuase Jane is correct, I am utterly unelectable -- Pavel can be my S of D because of his fantastic robot army and Jane can be my VP and we'll invent a special cabinet post for Pelmo because he's a very special guy.

If the terrorists in the White House declare a state of emergency and therefore themselves the Dictating Deciders for Life I will have to either go live with Fatrobot in glorious Canada or Twit in Lovely Britian.

(Also, nobody was picking on chickens the fowl, but rather chickens, the cowardly people. It's an American expression, see. Although now that I think about it I guess it could be considered pretty deragatory to our feathered egg-laying friends.)

And yes ... we are the butterfly effect in the midst of chaos theory in practice.

La Sirena said...

Oh, and Nigel gets to be Officialy Fiscally Responsible Budget Balancer -- cuz he's a good capitalist and let's put our people to work where their talents are.

Or would you rather be the Minister of Bringing Out the Dead? ;~)

Twit said...

Glad you can see something worthwhile in my out-of-tree gushings..

(can I be your intern? ¦:¬)

La Sirena said...

I'm fluent in drunk.

Sure ... you can be my intern.
;~)