Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Stop Yelling At Me

To the bleached-blonde kept woman driving the brand-spanking-new Lexus in her just-so pink sweats on the way home from her mani and pedi who is fond of catastrophising in that very special super-nasal, suburban C- average of the MRS major who has blessed the city with her presence and is running up the cost of living faster than her credit cards:

Stop yelling at me. I only let you go on that way because I was fantasizing about punching you repeatedly in any one of your surgically-enhanced body parts. That's wrong, so I didn't move a muscle, nor talk, nor breathe too much. Beware the silent flaring nostrils.

To the arrogant youth from a culture that doesn't necessarily appreciate brassy dames asserting anything, much less daring to remind men of the accepted standard of line-standing etiquette:

Stop yelling at me! Don't assume a wounded look or point your finger too close to my nose or call me a liar. The whole chicken-shit line backed me up and thanked me for stopping you from taking orders from every girl in your class who happened to walk past.

All ex-boyfriends and bossy types should also stop yelling at me. I'm feeling raw. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to keep my temper. I am a Taurus, I have been on simmer for days and days and I am deeply concerned for all of our well-being. Please, stop now.

Thank you.


twit said...

You're a liar.

& so am I.

But most of all; I'm a pussycat..

Until I get a whiff of bull.


I value you.
& you can take that to the proverbial bank.

changapeluda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pelmo said...

I see there are others who hate all this ever growing stupidity surrounding us.

Pavel Chekov said...

When you don't release your anger, the terrorists win.

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

You remind me of me.

La Sirena said...

Twit -- The proverbial bank is the only one I trust. Thanks.

Changa -- I'm in Chicago, but I think you're correct... copious amounts of booze and cheesy carbs are in order. I shall take that advice.

Pelmo -- Stupid is as stupid does. -- Mrs. Gump

Pavel -- Yes, it's their secret plot to have us all keel over in a fit of enraged apoplexy. That's it! It's all an enormous terrorist plot. Thanks.

Nigel -- And vice versa...