Ugly pucker!

I am 32 flavors of pissed off right now.

Today IN BROAD FREAKING DAYLIGHT at 6 pm I was trekking from my office to the remote parking lot where I leave my car thanks to discounts and construction (resulting in parking lot overcrowding). While passing the el station with the too-narrow sidewalk, some selfish jackass cut diagonally into the entry, instead of continuing on his path and making a right-angle turn. He trapped me between a wall and some newspaper boxes just as another yucky man walked up leaned over the paper boxes close enough for me to smell his stale unwashed breath and said, "Give me a kiss, baby" while puckering up.

I'm not sure how, but I did some fancy backward tango and escaped from his reach. It isn't that big of a deal, but I was shaken up and pissed and scared. Last week my supervisor was verbally assaulted and followed on her way to the same lot.

How fat do I have to fucking get before you bastards leave me alone?

It is my fucking city, too and I should be able to walk the streets unmolested. Where was security? Where were the cops? You can bet your ass that if I had driven 3 blocks without a seatbelt, the cops would have been johnny-on-the-spot pulling me over and writing me a ticket. Hell, I got pulled over in a cab IN MY BUSINESS CLOTHES for being mistaken for a whore last year. But when you actually want and need protection, it's as if someone 86ed all forms of blue and white service and protection.

Now I have to take the ugly route 4 blocks south and 2 1/2 west, instead of walking as the crow flies through the park and on the angle street.

And before you men start leaving remarks in my comment hole about safety first, etc. -- I should warn you that I am PISSED and scared. I shouldn't have to walk the long, ugly way. Rookies shouldn't pull me in a business suit over in a cab and question me. It's all misogynist bullshit. Why do some men think cat calls and honking horns, etc. is an acceptable and effective way to pick up women? Has it ever worked in the history of sex and romance? As in , "Oh. baby ... you honked your horn and flicked your tongue between your fingers. Give me a piece of that manly attention! Pull over, let me in your car. I"LL GIVE YOU A BIG KISS."

I'm fortunate not to have ever been raped, but there have been close calls and hairy moments. Too many things have made me feel vulnerable and dirty. I was lucky to get away today and I have spent the last several hours berating myself for umpteen imagined mistakes. What it boils down to is: I encountered a pervert who saw me as a fire hydrant to piss all over.

I suffer from insomnia, the roommate and the kid are both gone and I know I'll never, ever sleep tonight.

And of course, I am going to take the long, "safe" route from now on -- but I will resent every goddamned extra step. And I am trying so hard not to be a big, fat crybaby.

Controlling, mysoginist perverts!