"Our Love Is God..."

"...let's go get a slushie."

I've been contemplating this notion of soul mates. I don't think I believe in it -- I used to want to, but I'm starting to suspect that it's a way to sabotage any happiness we might have in love. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if the concept of soul mates isn't a conveninet romantic dressing for an individual's fear of committment.

And I am possibly one of the biggest, soppiest, romantic committment phobes out there.

The search for a soul mate requires that we compare our lovers to some sort of platonic ideal. One who couldn't possibly exist in flesh and blood. In fact, Plato came up with the idea of twin souls. But then, Plato would never have been my soul mate -- he's far too in love with the ethers for me. I'll stick with Socrates and Aristotle because I prefer questions and flesh. (See, even Plato isn't proper soul mate material. It's a horrible standard.)

Please don't misunderstand -- I'm not speaking out against love, but rather this ridiculous idea that there is a "one and only" and your life will suddenly click into place when you meet them and everyone else is just practice.

Screw that!

In the first place, there are so very many people in the world (?6.5 billion?) it seems mathematically impossible that out of all of those souls, only one is your true soul mate. It could also induce panic every time you miss a train or get stopped in traffic, etc. Oh no! What if I've missed my one and only opportunity to meet my one and only? Am I doomed to a life of uncoupled unfulfillment -- like a mismatched sock?

Which brings me to my second point. Why can't you have an emotionally fulfilling life as a single person? If everyone has a soul mate and if you haven't met yours yet, does that mean you haven't met/made your fate? Even if you end hunger or AIDS or war?

What if you are your own complete circuit? Or more likely, what if you are a twig on a soul branch? What if there is a cluster of people you belong to/ with -- maybe not perfectly matched -- but kind of a soul family?

And what about lovers who stick around for years and years, just not exclusively or every day? Or what about those you loved, but you couldn't be together for any of a multitude of reasons? It seems that comparing those to the soul mate paradigm is to invalidate and cheapen your loved ones. If you really love someone it never ceases. You may separate, the intensity may wane. But real love continues infinitely. I would hate to think my loves of Christmas Past think of me as mere practice for their soul mates. I certainly don't think of them that way.

A love shared -- in and of itself -- is a soulful experience .

Because our love is God.