Bush Blows

So there I was riding high on the Democratic sweep of Congress and the Senate and actually thinking about other things....I let the whole W visit to Vietnam slide by without one snarky comment -- it seemed too obvious, what with him never reporting for duty for that debacle and the current situation in Iraq making it painfully obvious that our Fearless Cheerleader has not learned the lessons of history.

Then as I was stumbling around the house this morning in search of a hairbrush, I heard on the radio that there is absolutely no evidence that Iran has been developing nuclear weapons. And now our Fearless Cheerleader is disappointed because he doesn't get to have his World War this year.

Poor W!

You see, W figured he couldn't just go occupy another country without concrete evidence of a serious weapons cache -- and the media just spilled the beans about Iran's supposed nuclear race being yet another crock of steamy shit served as stew -- no way the Democrats would agree to let him invade Iran now. W would have to be subtle if he wanted to keep his oil and war tech buddies in business -- but damnit, W wasn't even sure how to pronounce subtle. What to do? What to do?

But then he remembered that country in the Mideast that isn't Muslim. What's that called again? Ummm...Dick? What's the name of that place we give about $3 billion dollars a year in military aid? Oh yeah...Israel!

Our Fearless Cheerleader dusted off his old megaphone and called a press conference. Condi -- who can pronounce the word subtle and always does what Daddy W tells her -- outlined some reasons why the U.S. won't be directly attacking Iran. Then W slouched to the side and squinted up his eyes in that way he likes to think makes him look like a real cowboy and said,

I would understand if Israel chose to attack Iran.

Just like W "understood" when Israel started invading the Palestinian territory with tanks a few weeks ago and the U.S. was too wrapped up in the midterm elections to comment. W has "understood" the entire bloody Israeli occupation of Gaza this year -- because after all, W is occupying Iraq.

And maybe if W could cheer Israel on all the way to attacking Iran, it would divert some of the attention from that whole Gaza mess...and that whole Iraq mess???

(Special thanks to Pauly and Deek Deekster.)