Thursday, February 08, 2007

Crazy Love

I dread Valentine's Day. I begin developing pre- Valentine's anxiety a week in advance ... it's a big fat psychotic Hallmark slut of ridiculous expectation and for what? Why do you think they call it VD?

"Be Mine." What does that mean? Let me love you up and then take complete ownership of you? My love will enslave you??? I will own you. "You're mine."

Also, Mercury will be going retrograde on the 14th -- so beware of miscommunications -- especially with your lovers or partners or spouses or whatever. Also, any affairs or breakups initiated during a Mercury Retrograde will never stick.

I noticed in my time as a bartender that people get VERY drunk, VERY bitter and VERY mean on VD. I guess we all secretly hope for love and romance and all that jazz. And if you don't, the arrival of VD can create unnatural feelings of inadequacy, envy and vacancy within hearts that are normally way too full for such pathology. During the international outbreak of VD on February 14th, it's quite easy to see how drowning one's sorrows could be the best course to take. And that course easily escalates into a toxic waste spill requiring an expert hazmat team to clean up the wreckage caused by so many emotionally charged ions bonding with alcohol in a closed space.

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.

(Cynical) Sirena


Laurie said...

Excellent post. I try not to hate Valentine's Day but it gets harder and harder not to every year.

La Sirena said...

Thank you for the validation, Laurie. I feel like a frosty, bitter person for saying so... but it all just seems so contrived to me.